10things i have to remind myself to hold the determination....

10things i tell myself to hold the determination...:

1. U told me u were never happy with me (3years 3 times)

2. U say if i have a wonderful figure u dun mind going out with me regardless of the outfit i wear.

3. U called me a liar.

4. U say everything i do pisses u off.

5. U told me NEVER to contact n led seperate lifes.

6. U sometimes dont reply my smses.

7. U never communicate with me and expect me to understand what you are thinking.

8. U only thought u are the one unhappy at times.

9. U blame me for that day.

10. U hurt me and forced me to hurt you too....

i dun deny i miss you, but i also know reality is right smack in front of my face!.
i dun wanna care anymore, i dun wanna feel sad anymore
i wanna jus be nonchalent
but its fiaking hard....

feeling like a school girl again

different now:




decided i want to be clear of all my troubles for a while
i really hope 2007 can be a good year for me.
i dun expect it to be great but at least not as bad as 2006.
please....

isa

i aint the same isa you know anymore.
guess my heart is just in pieces now. the pieces arent able to glue back tgt.
honestly i never intended to...
i dun believe in myself anymore.
i cant trust i can hold my temper in check.
i cant gurantee i wun stab u in the back when u r at yr lowest
i cant make sure you are all safe n happy again
i cant even be sure what is in store for myself in the future.
i dun believe in myself anymore.
cause i aint the same.
i no longer want to b the sweet accomodating fren you believe in.
guess what, it takes lots of work.
happy ending are jus so passe.
it isnt this case anymore
wake up your bloody idea.
life is all about hurt hurt hurt and hurt.

zoo for val's birthday wish

went to the zoo with the gang on 24th feb.
val's wish to celebrate her birthday.... in the zoo
apologies. just not in the mood to blog abt the trip....
pics perhaps

in loving memory of Preston Pan

in loving memory of my cousin Preston Pan
26 October 2006 - 25 february 2007
the cousin whom i never got to joke with, never got to cuddle up to, never got to hear him call me jie jie, whom never let me be able to baby talk to him.
i carried him yesterday.
i whispered - its not fair u have to go. u have not even seen jie jie yet. you never hear jie jie joke with u yet. but jie jie love you. i love my baby cousin. be happy ok. bye preston.....

when the life support was removed, his heart remain beating. but his brain was already damaged. he still held on , with tears in his eyes...
when he left, everyone sobz... long endless sobbing for some....
my xiao shu and xiao kim bid their beloved first child goodbye....
first time i saw grandma crying...
everything just fell apart at the moment

last one

take care.....
please take care.....

F.O.F

F.O.F - full of food.
Just finish my monthly company lunch in - chicken rice as usual.
feeling full
been one week plus since i finish any of my meal...
either i dun finish or i jus take really little.
no appetite perhaps.

this chinese new year, other den red packets, i think its all about food already.
i had many dinner appt during CNY.
i went auntie's, grandma's, zandra's, rose's, val's, jol's place for dinner/lunch.
BURP... gosh really eat too much liao...
bit too much liao.
i like food or shd i say i enjoy food. but erm not too much will be better.

over eat, over stress body fats tend to result in over exercise.
i think i need to start on my exercise scheme already.

yoga? pilate? kick boxing? anyone interested.... ?

need a makeover

- this is me before make up.. wearing my ugly spects.... gosh...




- this is me with make up....

the wonders of make up... shucks.. i need a make over...
facial, right facial products, right cosmetics... better skin....

protege

went to watch protege just now.
realise that the show is reali so real...
why must u do drugs?
why? knowing that it will harm you?
to get a kick out of it????

daniel wu mention - to do drugs is because u feel a sense of loneliness n emptyness deep down in yr heart somewhere. that is why u do drugs.

i guess some ppl start it for the fun of it. some do it plainly out of emptyness.
to avoid the emptyness in their heart.
r u that kind???

it harms your health.
it eats into your daily life. be it financially, physically or emotionally.
why do it?

pls dun do it anymore
if you feel lonely find a fren.....
here i am, i m a fren
drop me any message
you do this, u onli make the ppl ard u worried

words

wuchun posted this on his blog.... very true...

It’s pointless to keep thinking of the sad memories. Let bygones be bygones… so STOP THINKING OF IT because it’s only you who choose whether you want a happy or sad life. I want you to be happy and I know you can achieve that!

today- leaving on a jet plane

jon's leaving on a jet plane.. dunoo when he'll be back again...

hhahaha

jon's leaving today , back to brissy to study.. gosh 2 mths pass so far...
n i only met up with him once... shucks.... haha...

nvm take care jon.. i'll see u in brissy in MAY ya...! *waves*

first reunion at val's place - Feb 20th

actually wanted to take many pics of all, but i guess the star for the night is lil isaac baobei... haha
lucky me, i manage to get a few of him not crying.
jol was not so lucky... wahaha

miss

i miss you
and i fiaking hate the feeling of missing you
whats the point of smsing you when u dont reply me
waste my money???

i told xueli we got to be strong...
yet i m such a weakling
bloodyyyy helll!!!!

i dun like this isabelle.... no i dun like
i want a new isabelle
with a new gucci bag?

haha... fiaking loser!

CNY 2007

happy chinese new year everyone!
guess this year not much of a mood except the red packets coming into my bag.
not much though! haha... BORING!!!
what to do.... economy no good... haha
but it was great seeing relatives that i see in liked once a year.
the usual FAQ - when r u going to get married... etc etc...
i love hearing comments liked - wah getting prettier n prettier ar... haha... (although maybe not true la)
but heck la. i still wan to get red packets for a few more yrs. and hopefully i will find my mr right soon... :)
anyone ??
:P

its nice also to hear lil cousins tell u - jie jie i love u lei... haha...
at least i still have someone loving me for who i am.... bleh bleh... hur hur....

photos time!!!

yantai CNY luncheon...

please forgive me. i very lazy to write so i will just post pics...