nadia birthday

i think this is a long awaited post but somehow no one wants to be reminded of this day, n the day after and the day after.

but still i wanna post the pictures of family.....

baby isaac aw j.y

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well, at least there was a good news yesterday:
roselyn gave birth to a healthy baby boy isaac. weighing 2.935kg.....
he's really a cute little bundle of joy.....
and me being one of the godma look forward to being part of this new young born's growing up life.

congrats rose & ew for being first time daddy & mummy!

my pain and missing

haven been blogging for a while... was really busy.... its been a very sad sad month for me. a very very painful memory.
i love to watch TV drama and i never thought one day i will be in an actual scene myself.
it hurts liked mad to see my grandma drift away from unconsciouness to non-existent. i couldnt do anything. no amount of tears or words of comfort can bring her back. she is just in real deep pain. pain that is tormenting every part of her body. pain that just results in her vomiting blood everyday in her unconscious state. its horrible.... i couldnt take it. i couldnt accept the fact that the one whom i have known n love since the first day i was born was leaving me... and in this really horrible way. she dont deserve the pain n torture. she had suffered when she was young, so why make her suffer now? perhaps by leaving she is free from all the pain and she will find happiness in another world.
when i hear the equipment signal still life , my heart just stop. tears just flow. i couldnt do anything but whisper to her that we all love her and we just want her to be happy.
everyone will miss her but still we let her have the choice as to which way will she be happier. that is what we can do for her.

note to everyone: thank you for your concern and visits. i appreciate it.

my ''farewell'' dinner with a bunch of nice colleagues

i had dinner with tete, andy & xiuhui. too bad, iris sick cant make it..... shandia has class.
we went the ichiban boshi at esplanade.... yummy food, lovely company.
after that we went to ice monster for shave ice... wow, the ambassador fr the shop is JULIAN HEE... (aww... gorgeous guy)

i will definitely miss them all.....

Hana - Kimi

Rui Xi (Ella) had came back from America when she falls in love with a boy named Zuo Ye Quan after seeing his high jump performance on television. Wanting to get to know him more, she decides to find out all about him and go to the same school as him. But, theres a problem; Quan goes to an all boy's high school! After much persuasion to her family and getting help from her good friend, Rui Xi then disguises herself as a boy and goes to the high school Quan attends.Coincidently, She attends the same class and stays in the same dormitory room with Quan! On her first day of school, she was late and bump onto someone on the way to class. In a hurry, she rushed off. Unknowingly, that guy was Quan. She wanted to be friends with Quan and was very straightforward but was rejected (he thought she was gay). Finding that Rui Xi was rather straightforward,Zhong Jin Xiu Yi(Jiro Wang) befriends Rui Xi. During physical lesson, Everyone found out that Rui Xi was a very fast runner. Even breaking the school's record. Jealous, Xiu Yi challenged her. After the run, she faints. To her rescue was Quan (found out she was a girl but kept it to himself) and he brought her to the school's doctor Mei Tian, who is a gay. He too, found out about Rui Xi's identity but promise to keep it a secret. He soon became her consoler when she needed someone to talk to. Xiu Yi soon falls in love with Rui Xi, but doesn't know that Rui Xi is a girl and keeps suspecting himself of being gay. Quan and Rui Xi soon becomes friend and both starts to develop a very close friendship. Many mishaps and challenges awaits Rui Xi.Will she be able to get her life through high school perfectly, without anyone discovering that she's a girl, but at the same time be close to Zuo Ye Quan ?

feeling like a prude.....

was just msn-ing with jon just now..... pouring my heart out to him.....


ono..<> :
yeah
Jono..<> :
just got up
Jono..<> :
go ahead
Jono..<> :
shoot
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
if u realise the gal u likes ur fren, wat will u do?
Jono..<> :
like that ah
Jono..<> :
there's nothing you can do
Jono..<> :
you love her but she loves someone else
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
will u be mad at ur fren?
Jono..<> :
no
Jono..<> :
unless he potong jalan
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
it happen to my fren n he is super mad. he he thinks his ex is cheap.. hai
Jono..<> :
haa...
Jono..<> :
in a way la
Jono..<> :
then it just means that girl doesn't love him that much
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
true also
Jono..<> :
crystal sent me a msnmsg yesterday
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
betwn them they hve some issues also to result to the break up
Jono..<> :
asking me how i was

Jono..<> :
break up good
Jono..<> :
haa...
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
den did u reply her?
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
so where u went last nite?
Jono..<> :
nope didn't reply
Jono..<> :
went to eagle street pier blow wind
Jono..<> :
sat at a cafe
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
sounds cool lei
Jono..<> :
talk, chatted...
Jono..<> :
walk walk
Jono..<> :
sit down at a bench
Jono..<> :
haa....
Jono..<> :
tasty
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
bench or beach?
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
salty la.. haha
Jono..<> :
bench
Jono..<> :
salty?
Jono..<> :
why?
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
all the sea breeze
Jono..<> :
not sea breeze
Jono..<> :
river breeze
Jono..<> :
not salty at all
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
orh
Jono..<> :
very nice
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
Jono..<> :
and yesterday was cold
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
ar
Jono..<> :
little chilly
Jono..<> :
you ?
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
me?
Jono..<> :
didn't go out
Jono..<> :
?
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
i spend all my time at hme now. duno wats wrong with me
Jono..<> :
Hmm..
Jono..<> :
that's good too
Jono..<> :
jay was like that for a while
Jono..<> :
now he's fine
Jono..<> :
ating this new girl
Jono..<> :
dating
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
prob is i m liked moodless nw
Jono..<> :
you'll be okay
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
i dun even wan to go out. my fren i'm mad
Jono..<> :
haa..
Jono..<> :
save money first, store power, then one time let go
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
ha...
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
even my bro has a gf nw
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
see them l0vey dovey makes me
Jono..<> :
haa...
Jono..<> :
relax
Jono..<> :
now you can enjoy your life
Jono..<> :
spend all your money on yourself
Jono..<> :
pamper yourself
Jono..<> :
it's good la
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
u noe i feel tat i m like lost in myself
Jono..<> :
don't think of the bad, think of the good
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
its like the feeling that i cant understand myself either
Jono..<> :
don't worry
Jono..<> :
everyone is changing and evolving
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
at times i giggle like a mad woman, den suddenly for a period of time i jus dun feel like talking
Jono..<> :
use this time to sort your life out
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
i dun hve confidence in myself anymore
Jono..<> :
that's so like me too
Jono..<> :
have la
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
n i dun meet ppl easily....
Jono..<> :
i think you're looking pretty good lately
Jono..<> :
your msn pic is nice
Jono..<> :
how's that for an ego booster?
Jono..<> :
haa...
Jono..<> :
and i'm nt saying it just to make you feel good
Jono..<> :
you're okay...
Jono..<> :
have some confidence
Jono..<> :
trust me
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
i feel like a prude
Jono..<> :
God has made our other halves and their out there
Jono..<> :
it's only a matter of time before you guys meet
Jono..<> :
so meanwhile, enjoy your life...
Jono..<> :
don't have to go looking for him
Jono..<> :
no la
Jono..<> :
why so down?
Jono..<> :
menses?
Jono..<> :
man i gotta go kay
Jono..<> :
talk to ya later
Jono..<> :
don't think so much aight?
Jono..<> :
you'll be fine
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
hope so
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
i have been feeling like a prude for a long time already

i always felt better after talking to him but this time round, it feels the same.... boring.....

pretty boys galore

i'm hooked on pretty boys... boys that are out of reach, the closest i can get to them is by placing my pouty lips on my lappy's screen or my plasma tvvvvvv..... thats the pathetic closeness i have towards them. haiz.... why are there so many pretty boys around except in singapore. oh gosh, so disappointing.

i got hooked on ou xiang ju.... one after another... starting with meteor garden 1 & 2, mars, and the list just goes on.... now i go gaga over pretty boys on screen... F4 is so passe already (but i still like zaizai, still a cutie).....

now my ''collection'' of fantasy is:
- Joe Zheng Yuan Chang (It started with a kiss)
- He Jun Xiang Mike (Devil beside me)
- Wu Zun ( tokyo juliet, hana kimi)
- Rain (Full house)
- *shin goon* *yul goon* (Goong)

for Goong, to be honest, all the guys are rather cute...
pretty boyssss..... eye candyyyyyyy

happy birthday joleen

happy birthday joleen!!.....

went ktv and seafood dinner to celebrate joleen's birthday......

;)

switching frequencies

think i m really getting weird.
kelly just called me just now, ask me to go k-ge.... (sing karaoke), but i told her im brokez and the fact that i just ordered mac D delivery.
she was liked - how come you don't go out liao... always hear u stay at home.

it got me thinking.
i am liked this now. i seldom go out. even now when i m on long leave, i choose to stay at home. going to places like sun plaza is also a hassle for me.
i feel different.
in the past, orchard is never far for me. now i find orchard troublesome.
the thought of travelling up and down makes me all weak and 'nuahz'.
gosh what is happening to me??

even when my friend offer to pick me up to go out, i just don't have the mood to go out.
being brokez is one thing. but guess the main thing is i lost my spirit.
being lifeless now.

i stayed at home since i was on leave on thursday till now.
rotting and watching VCDS of idol drama series.
i just finish tokyo juliet in liked 1 day.... the show is nice but a bit draggy.
haven even started watching MY GIRL yet which i have to like return in less den 2 days to my friend.
i was eagerly anticipating watching it but now i don't feel the rush already.

i just don't feel the rush for anything anymore. its really like at a dead monotonous speed.
lost of direction and feeling a sense of betrayal.

i only feel a jolt when i see wu zun on screen.... i just love pretty boys.....

howl

i love this link and dont you just think he's cute.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLn0QUG1fZw

super nice.....

howl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLn0QUG1fZw

depressive disorder

A depressive disorder is an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. It affects the way a person eats and sleeps, the way one feels about oneself, and the way one thinks about things. A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away. People with a depressive illness cannot merely "pull themselves together" and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people who suffer from depression.
Major depression is manifested by a combination of symptoms (see symptom list) that interfere with the ability to work, study, sleep, eat, and enjoy once pleasurable activities. Such a disabling episode of depression may occur only once but more commonly occurs several times in a lifetime.
Not everyone who is depressed or manic experiences every symptom. Some people experience a few symptoms, some many. Severity of symptoms varies with individuals and also varies over time.
Depression
Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
Restlessness, irritability
Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain
People who have low self-esteem, who consistently view themselves and the world with pessimism or who are readily overwhelmed by stress, are prone to depression. Whether this represents a psychological predisposition or an early form of the illness is not clear.
Women experience depression about twice as often as men.1 Many hormonal factors may contribute to the increased rate of depression in women particularly such factors as menstrual cycle changes, pregnancy, miscarriage, postpartum period, pre-menopause, and menopause. Many women also face additional stresses such as responsibilities both at work and home, single parenthood, and caring for children and for aging parents.
Depressive disorders make one feel exhausted, worthless, helpless, and hopeless. Such negative thoughts and feelings make some people feel like giving up. It is important to realize that these negative views are part of the depression and typically do not accurately reflect the actual circumstances. Negative thinking fades as treatment begins to take effect. In the meantime:
Set realistic goals in light of the depression and assume a reasonable amount of responsibility.
Break large tasks into small ones, set some priorities, and do what you can as you can.
Try to be with other people and to confide in someone; it is usually better than being alone and secretive.
Participate in activities that may make you feel better.
Mild exercise, going to a movie, a ballgame, or participating in religious, social, or other activities may help.
Expect your mood to improve gradually, not immediately. Feeling better takes time.
It is advisable to postpone important decisions until the depression has lifted. Before deciding to make a significant transition change jobs, get married or divorced discuss it with others who know you well and have a more objective view of your situation.
People rarely "snap out of" a depression. But they can feel a little better day-by-day.
Remember, positive thinking will replace the negative thinking that is part of the depression and will disappear as your depression responds to treatment.
Let your family and friends help you.

a note to all

alone in my room. thinking of a lot of things. i realise i never told my friends what i felt and wanted to tell them from the bottom of my heart.
let me just say how i feel not in alphabetical order so my friends pls think the 1st one is most important and the last one the least important.

zan: i want zan to be happy. dun stay at the same point doing things for the person that you sould not do for. i can understand the heart pain and the soft heart that gives in. softness is the point that makes a lot of woman's 'death' in relationship. personally i am like this as well.
kel: i want kel to be sure of what she want. let herself be happy with the one who truly makes her happy. as women we all wish that our better half is someone we can rely on, stable, mature and ''gu jia'' but deep down love is most important. find someone you truly love. and if you found that someone already i am really happy for you.
grace: my happily married friend. i m really happy for her that she found someone who dotes on her so much and can stay with her through happiness n sadness. be happy friend. but remember friends are important as well.

roselyn: your baby coming soon. excited about the birth. i know you will be a great mummy. u have a great hubby and loving family...
joleen: my wish is to attend your wedding. i know this is what you really wish for. and i know you will be very happy about it. i want you to be happy. and sometimes being happy is when you are back to your old self again.
valerie: i want val to finally settle down. in her lovely nest. i want to attend her chinese wedding and wait for her to give birth to white white chubby babies as well.

bao bao: i want bao bao to be sure what she wants in life but at the same time dun forsake the old. old may not always be holding you forward but afterall they are part of the process which we grew up from. they let us learn what we need to learn to walk down the steps in our future.
number 3: i want number 3 to be happy. although i dunno her long but we can really click. i know number 3 is a very simple gal who just needs a simple life. someone to care for her and someone to be there for her.

ed: sometimes certain things in life cannot be forced. i know how u feel but u also know that if u care for someone u will want the person to be happy. be cool and succeed in life.. that is most important for a man.
pabu: take care. be happy. don't stress too much. you will get your gf of 8yrs back. u jus have to have faith.

jon: i know this time you are better. but i also know u r hurting inside. but u r so much stronger than me. always my buddy.

jena: young and lovely fren. always chirpy. stay that way.

chipmunk: although you are my pillar when i m sad. i know at times u are sad too. always a friend. thank you.

i have many things deep down i don't really know how to express. but pardon me, i need to be by myself. take care.

my weekend

roarrrrrrr another week end pass without me even manage to get enuf fun... geez...

last week end was spent eating n eating....
friday went DXO with ''number 3'' , her fren cheryl, kelly & zan. we went chill out at the rooftop live singing. coincidentally one of the singer is my pri sch mate, joel.... he's change a lot wor. used to be short n scrawny. now tall and beefier. voice is not too bad as well... ;)
ohhhh, and we bump into alvin and his guy gang.... almost all of his frens was attracted by number 3, which i am not suprise. she can really dance lo. liked energizer battery. the wonders of youth... sighhhhhh.....

saturday went for yi quan's 2nd birthday party. my my, the boy is getting cuter lo.... *smiles* , so hyper.... in the night went for jena's 21st birthday... poolside party at warren country club... the bday gal was pretty (as always).... pictures posted.... 21 years old liao gal!!!! woo hoo!!!! can do anything u want liao. heh heh......

sunday went town walk around a bit and had dinner den it was home sweet home.

don't you all jus wish week end doesnt end so soon..... GRRRRRR

note: countdown - 21days.

i want to increase my EQ/IQ

i feel lost recently.....
maybe cause i am facing a soon-to-be jobless crisis....
oh well i m that unlucky. my dept is closing down , so OUT i go from Samsung...
im sad, cant bear to leave my colleagues but at the same time, i noe if its time to move on, its time to move on....
market is so dry now that i dun realli have the motivation left.
have send a few resumes but no response yet....
ppl give me a chance!!!!
screammmmmm!!!

another thing:
i want to break free.
i dun wan to care anymore, dun wan to worry anymore, dun wan to be sad abt him anymore.
what for.....
to him:
i care alot about you. even more than you can give me credit for.
i have never rejected helping, never turn you down when you ask me, never expecting anything back in gratitude.
i worry abt you, worry are you well, are you working too hard, are you unhappy at times.
i cry when you give me attitude, frown when i dun get reply from you.


i hate being the dumb ass who grins to herself when u express a little concern, when u send a simple sms such as 'morning'.... i hate it!!! i hate wanting to tell you my well being, my problems , wishing u can just express a little concern.... wishful thinking! i reali question my own EQ/IQ.

i care alot about you and i still love you. but i think its time to let go... its pass my time frame. i want to cherish you, cherish what we have but maybe we just dun have enough strength to hold this bond together.
take care of yourself.

recently

so boreddddddd.... roarrrrrrrr
now is like 330pm in the office... super sianz lo... finish my daily routine work so pretty much quite nuah at the moment.
this has become my weekly routine.... goshhh....
lucky today thurs already. tml friday yippee!

tml going bar none with kelly and grace. newman event. hmmm...
kel say to dress to kill... erm... i don't really know how to though. haha.
she say dress like when i go to velvet but hor, i've never been to velvet... haha
so in the end she gave up
she just ask me not to dress too down.... ok, guess i pretty much got an idea what to wear.

*yawn*
i am falling asleep....
oh another thing, i think i have been eating too much, therefore expanded my internal capacity.
i went malaysia recently and i was liked eating eating and eating.
bah kut teh, dim sum, abalone, porridge, kfc, claypot, cakes, etc
haiz.. its killing me.....

back in singapore i started to keep eating also... oh man.... totally sinful

i need to cut back and diet

me and my addiction - sarang heng gayo!

spending too much

i got a serious problem:
i have been spending too much.

ok, i shop a lot but recent month i din get much things but hey, my $$ disappears in a poof. i din eat alot also. something is very wrong.
where is my money??

i decided to draw my purse strings tighter.
apart from bills and household money, i decided to put on hold all shopping until i get my finance right again.

i decided to stop clubbing, stop goin expensive restaurants. i got to learn to go home after work in order to cut down on expenditure.
even for lunch i think i must really go for the CHEAP and good food.
its quite sad that i m so big yet i cant seem to plan my financial properly.
pathetic, i got to learn to save.... i got to.....
$$$$$ i want money....

how will I know when i've met the one

there's no right person, so stop worrying about it.
its absolutelu ridiculous to believe someone (who, GOD?) has hand-ipcked one person in the world to make you truly happy.
the truth is, most of us won't meet just one person and stay with them for life, but have three or four serious loves.
each of those people will have been right for us at that time, so relax.

- this is what i read in a junkie magazine. come to think of it, it is quite true.

just like what i watch on tv yesterday:

love like you have never been hurt before
sing like no one is listening,
dance like no one is watching,
love like you have never been hurt before

strong.... got to learn to be strong

i am not a strong person.
often i lie in bed weeping. why? - because i feel lonely.
at times when i m sick, i feel so alone. like no one gives a damn if i will die or not.
i know its extreme but i am such a person.

i got to learn to be strong
to be independent.
to be tough.

at least i got to get my life direction clear. got to know what i want in life and what i have to do to achieve it.

i got to let go of the old weak me and emerge a tough bitch.
even if so, i just got to learn to protect myself.
dun be too nice especially if kindness is not appreciated.

its liked a dream. i woke up

i think the pressure is getting too heavy on me.
i don't want to pretend i am fine when i m not.
i dislike smiling. smiling when my heart is not.
i am really unhappy.
i dun feel care/concern or whatsoever shit.
i think i need to disappear to be on my own.
all along i m the fool
the fool who's fooling myself.
the one who is kidding myself everything is fine and i have what i want and i can be with who i want.
its all just a joke.
this joke is getting so big i feel stupid.

i really think i m not cut out for the adult's world of fun and games.
everyone is playing mind games with me.
everyone is fucking up my mind with their conversations, their lies, their hidden actions.
its so scary.
one minute i can smile at you, but at yr back i m stabbing straight at your heart
i'm just a replacement.
replacement when friends is unable to meet u
replacement when the one u love ditch you
replacement when loneliness overcomes you.
i m just in other words A SUBSTITUTE!!

its time i snap out.
im leaning too much far back.
i just want to be alone now.

a bit late but still

my suprise for chantelle work!
she smile...
late but still - happy birthday gal

my love come out with new album

my 'love' came out with new album.... LIKE IT!!!

i is sad

doctor told me my gastric no good
so no coffee, tea and chocolates!!!

not that i mind that much not drinking coffee/tea but CHOCOLATES.
its sad.
its really sad.
one of the oldest love in my life and i cant even touch it!.

sighz......
endure pain n snuck in a few of those small but delightful pleasures or
wave goodbye.....

i is ....

i is unhappy
angry....

last sat makeover

picture time people.... see pretty ms jena and ugly me... haha... oh well not ugly but maybe i dun suit blue..... hee hee......

miss chen xiao chen look very retro right.... =)

happy birthday to 2 fabulous people in my life

*drum rolls*******

first one - NATASHA SHAH D/O GULAM SARWAR SHAH!!!!!
haha
happy birthday my sweet lil cousin. may your years be fill with fun, laughter and happiness.

second one - EVELYN CHUA KIM HONG
happy birthday to my colleague, my friend, my hip hop buddy, my nuah pal
may you find a love so sweet, it embraces you forever!!!!!

last but not least
happy bday to you!
happy bday to you!
happy bday to nasha & eve
happy bday to youuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!

muacks and hugz
isa

1 + 1 = ?

i was thinking on the train on my way to work today....
what exactly is the illogical answer for 1+1?

i noe, many of u will go 'huh?' 'duhz'.. of coz is 2.
but think in an illogical way.
1+1 can refer to a relationship, friendship, marriage and even work.

relationship = 1 + 1 = 11 or 2.
11 being - each are on different ends. often many r/s end up in breakup, ugly bite and shout scene, weeping show and tell. 1 go north, the other 1 go south. no matter what, they will never be 2.

2 being - getting together. being term a couple. sharing common interests, learning to accomodate another person in yr life. learning to care/understand and appreciate the little things some one else is doing for you.

friendship = 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 = infinity
friendship is endless. often we will say - oh i noe tat who who who, he is my fren k's fren's fren ... etc etc... friendship is priceless, therefore its infinity..

marriage = 1 + 1 = possible 3 first?
marriage is a bind when two person come together under the eyes of the law and share a vow to go thru happiness or sadness together. 1 + 1 = 2.... many years down the road. 2+1=3, a baby, e testimony of their love, comes along and maybe even following with siblings.

work = 1 + 1 =0
work is never ending... get wat i mean? haah.

dblo.com

freaking embarrassed on dbl-o.com with my ugly pic. yikes
but i still wanna blog abt it.
haah.....
p/s: realise pic potray a rather 'high' me..... gulpz, holding my 2nd tequila pop.. wahah
the wonders tequila do to my facial colour

the practice with ms ling

ms ling at work with her fairy god mother magic wand to make isabelle a pretty gal



















look at my ugly face and all the needed cover up

















excuse the bright red hot chilli lipstick.... look at e eyelashes... wee!! long !!!!













see the two of us... all nicely doll up.







but actually the cutest yesterday was ....................................










ms cutie
euro -
ms ling's doggy
























i went home a pretty gal .....
cant wait till sat for the whole portfolio thingy ...... =0)

It takes a bitch to understand a bitch

I is strange
strange in tantrums ,
different mood swings
and a softie.

i think i is too soft.
too soft for my own good

i got to be a tough bitch.
for my own good , for future sake

accusation

i is super hurt.
never mind my heart was broken
now i am insulted.
for what fuck , i really do not know
based on a baseless accusation, it just sucks.
its not truth
this is not me.
its sad cause you dont know me like the way i thought u knew.

french loaf chop

i heard a story from Mag yesterday.
Its hilarious but its just shows how much love there is in two person
Mag’s parents were on the north east line, when the train stop at one particular stop.
When the doors open, an old lady ran in hurling her loaf of French loaf onto a vacant seat infront. Once the French loaf hit the seat n stay there, she immediately ran off in the opposite direction onto another available seat.
Seconds later, an old man came onto the train. The old lady immediately call out – there , go there, there is a seat chop for you. (while pointing to the French loaf chop seat).
The old man held up the loaf and ask who’s bread is that. The old lady call out – that’s mine. I chop the seat fr you. Quick sit down.
While all these happen, the two of them were at least one row of seats away.
At that time everyone on the train was laughing.

But it was love
Love between two old people.
Love between a man & a woman , regardless of age, assets, status.

mag & lunch

its been a long time since i met mag for anything. coffee.. shopping.. gossip.
today i met her for lunch at coffee bean situated at boat quay.
my, she still look as good.... actually better.... radiant.....
we still got on like old friends even though its been a while since we met up....
really feel good. cant wait till our next appt that is coming soon!!.....

DXO and lots of booze

went DXO on friday
haven been there before so went visiting.... it was ladies nite after all.. so free... free booze... gurgle it like H20
ms joleen came with me (rare occasion) and michelle too...
buddy and his camp mates were there too.
everyone had a great time
oh den again the after effects of hangover was not so good for me.. =P

zits!

i am growing pimples on my face. my already pimpled face is breaking out.
sad... very sad... me no like pimples
tried using pimple cream to get rid of it , no help.
sobz......

my destiny read...

apparantly i went onto this online thingy to get my destiny read or something like that.
i have to say the first part isnt true at all. only the ones in red i feel is more to the real me.
but hell , its suppose to be just a test...


Sample Reading for Isabelle Pan
***************************************
Personality and Character
You tend to complain a lot as to what life should be kind to you. You are interested in and capable of many different pursuits. You are also an extremely perfection orientated person and want things to be done right and flawlessly. If things do not turn out right, you will be the first to blame yourself and also those around you. Your reticent attitude often results in you being misunderstood and left out.
You are temperamental and snap quite easily as you find difficulty in concealing your thoughts and feelings. A very chatty and talkative person you speak your mind without much reservation and this can cause misunderstanding to people who are sensitive or people who do not know you well. You acquire interests as fast as you lose them because you make your decision too fast. Though you are prompt in taking action you are impatient, impassionate and can also be egoistic. You are smart and fast at learning and knowing almost everything at an incredible rate but might not work hard or sacrifice to achieve what you set out to do.
Romance and Compatibilities
A constant, faithful and sincerely devoted lover, no obstacle can prevent you from pursuing your love. Due to your inferiority complex, you demand affirmation of affection in extravagant ways. You need to be tickled, amused, humored and always want your lover to keep you laughing. You will blossom with love from Cancer, Virgo Capricorn and Pisces born in the years of Tiger/Horse/Rabbit.
A passionate person, you have a knack for love and you may have many love affairs in your lifetime even after getting married. You are a sweet talker and are very clever in romantic matters and these often convey the wrong message to people whom you might not have an interest at heart. It is likely that you get into love triangles involving both married and unmarried parties. But once you are truly in love you can be a very good partner, offering your sweet, gentle and charming ways.
Profession
Your willingness to work will leave little that you cannot accomplish. You are both reliable and concerned about the impression you make on others, especially your clients and colleagues. Good at details, you are also open to new ideas and are always on the lookout for modern methods. As an employee, you are loyal and forthright. As a boss, you are fair and kind to your employees.
Your sphere of activities is concentrated around enterprise, adventure and professions that are linked to public approval. You are a good talker and like exciting jobs, which can bring the best out of you. Suitable careers are politician, military, solicitor, actor/actress, chef and any other profession that deal with the public.
***************************************

take care

i want everyone ard me to be safe and happy

take care peeps.....

seeking forgiveness... i wouldnt be around for a while

sometimes i feel tired i just wanna take a break and relaxlook ard me, see what kind of ppl walking past me.see what environment i am in.strangely i cant seem to find a footing that is suitable for me.hanging out at cafe? boring....clubbing? tiring.....watching movie? lazy....eating? fattening....nuahing? i get moody awhile after....exactly what do i really want at this junction of my life....me is really lost.....often i ask myself why make myself unhealthy..i dun exactly feel the same anymorei jus want to take a break, hide myself and cover myself with tears and unhappiness for once.this is liked the real me.the real isabelle crys over the slightest thing that triggers her water taps. but she doesnt do it now. so she is not isabelle. is she being hu xia? hmmm.... dunno.....sorry if i offended anyone with my insensitivity, but honestly i m really really tired. just wanna be selfish....i care abt all my friends and family but at the same, i decided i wanna be alone.at least for now....seeking forgiveness.....

ms tan birthday

my dear fren for 11years finally hit her 2x !!!!
guess it urself ppl.... i cant really say, age is a secret for ladies.... ;)

as usual the so called F4 (fanatic = F) got together for a round of finger licking food and drinks....... they bday gal got one of her bday wish - calvin klein truth perfume.....
we went prego for dinner..... pizza, pasta and a small tiramisu..... served together with a complimentary round of champagne... yummy.....
after dinner we proceeded to INK bar for drinks. on the table were lychee martini, strawberry magarita and kelly's signature INK drink (forgive me i dont remember the name of the drink). after the 1st round kel got served a birthday waterfall.... HAHAHA!!!! it was blazing 'hot'....

den its home sweet home for me.....

p/s: happy birthday sweetie!!!

forbidden city

A historical retelling of the story of China's Empress Dowager, the story is seen from the eyes of an American painter, Kate Carl, who is commissioned to paint the Empress's portrait. The Empress recounts her amazing journey from a young imperial concubine to become the Empress of China and the pressures she faced. The musical explores the myths surrounding her reign, from the controversial death of her only son to her ambitious tussle for power. Having played to 60,000 people in 2003, Forbidden City is Singapore's most successful musical to date. Starring Asian sensation Kit Chan

this - i must watch cause since it started till now. i haven had a chance to be able to catch it due to different reasons.
this time m goin to head down and get the damn tickets.!

just for miss tan

yes miss tan
for you i have change my blog's outlay so that its easier for you to read my blogs.... =)

difference between love & infatuation

Infatuation is fleeting desire -- one set of glands calling to another. It is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about the relationship that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream. Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time. It is quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It gives you strength and grows beyond you to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his presence, even when he is away. Miles do not separate you. But near or far, you know he is yours and you can wait. Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing him." Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence." Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy. Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship that makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers. Infatuation lacks confidence. When he's away, you wonder if he's being unfaithful. Sometimes, you check. Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. He feels your trust, and it makes him even more trustworthy. Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction. Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you better than you were before."

难道

为何不肯让我吻你
为何把脸埋在你双手里
难道是你的心里还有犹豫 难道你不是因为我才美丽
你为何不肯让我吻你 在这种时候你居然选择哭泣
难道是你还藏着什么秘密 难道是我错估彼此的距离
我再心里面默默的在恨你 恨你辜负我的真心
当我已经为你太着迷 你怎么可以如此的无情
我再心里面默默的在恨你 恨你那双无辜的眼睛
当我已经无法自拔爱上了你 你却变得扑朔迷离
为何不肯让我吻你 为何把脸埋在你双手里
难道是你的心里还有犹豫 难道你对我只是游戏

forever bliss!!!

to my dear friend grace and her fiance ST, wishing you forever bliss!!!

i just want her to get well

when i saw her lying frail on the hospital bed, my heart jus cried and my tears just roll down.
whats the point of having sons who dun give a fuck about their mum's well being.
please! talk is cheap. who dunno how to talk? unless u are mute.
stop being defensive , start self reflecting on what you fail to do.
right now i just want my grandma to get well.

elsa's birthday

elsa birthday was at daybed bar....its a singapore concept of bed & supper club in Bangkok.
however daybed bar was pretty small if you ask me. cause maybe cause i went to the one in bangkok before. so to me it was pretty ok onli.
but anyway the star fr the nite wasnt the place but it's e bday gal. all pretty doll up in her famous song & kelly top and her signature levi's lady jeans.
as usual she open bottle for the nite (i din drink much though). she invited her frens including patrick & damian. we were photo - whoring the nite away. at 12 midnight i went hme , din join them at devils bar. devils nt my cup of tea anymre. haha....

pretending.....

maybe physically it gets tired to be smiling all the time when in fact deep down you are bleeding non stop. call me persistance, call me irritating. i jus had to try one last time to maeke it work
but i din realise all along i was the fool. i was kidding myself into believing time heals the problems.
when i finally pluck up courage to make the move, i was CRUSHED. he just din wan to see me nor talk to me. guess its the final hit. i wanna move on. even though i need time to heal, i reali wanna move on. no point holding on to someone who doesnt love me for who i am.

but deep down i m still pretending......