Thursday, April 30, 2009

Often Sorry can mean different meanings

男孩和女孩从小就认识,男孩经常约女孩一起去村外的池塘边捉小虾,每次男孩总是满
载而归,女孩却是两手空空,女孩总是失落的含着眼泪,独自一个人回到家,然后闷闷
不乐。晚饭前,男孩敲响女孩家的门,女孩一见是男孩,扭头就走,男孩追上前,对女
孩说:“对不起,我把你的虾都捉走了,给,我把它们养在小鱼缸里,送给你。”女孩
眉头一放,慧心的笑了,就这样反复着他们纯纯的童年,转眼,他们各自成长着。
——纯纯的“对不起”


男孩总是喜欢戏弄女孩,经常会把女孩逗到哭,然后又去哄女孩到她笑为止,
直到长大后,也是如此。
男孩经常偷偷的把女孩的自行车轮胎的气放到没有,然后躲在远处,看女孩着
急的走投无路,等着女孩拨通他的手机,然后破口大骂他的小贼行为。可男孩,依旧那
么喜欢这样的女孩。他窃窃的从远处走来,灰溜溜的为女孩推着那辆没了气的自行车,
任由女孩在一旁发牢骚,男孩却暗自窃喜,然后委屈的对女孩说:“对不起,我知道错
了。”随即,女孩便会柔弱下来,告诉男孩下次不允许那样,男孩点头,于是,那时的
他们每天都充满着笑容。

—— “对不起”的快乐 。



大学毕业后,男孩和女孩各自有了工作,男孩的工作总是很忙,有时一个月都
休息不到一次,而女孩总是抱怨男孩冷落了她,终于,他们有了第一次的吵架。女孩委
屈的哭起来,可男孩却很理直气壮的告诉女孩:“这是为了我的工作。”这场冷战持续
了很久。终于,女孩还是忍不住,主动和男孩和好了。后来很多次男孩和女孩都因为这
样的小事而吵得不可开交,可每次,都是女孩先妥协。
那年,女孩生日,男孩答应女孩要给他过一个浪漫的生日,女孩欣喜不已,她在
家精心打扮,等着男孩回来陪她渡过这个美妙的生日,这一等就是凌晨,女孩在睡梦中
醒来,脸上挂着泪痕,男孩见到女孩,心疼的为女孩擦去脸庞的泪痕:“对不起,嫁给
我好吗?”于是男孩拿出一枚戒指。

—— “对不起”也是一种承诺



婚后,男孩的事业大有成就,经常有许多应酬,而女孩已经成为一个专职太太
了,每天在家为男孩准备热菜热饭,把家里收拾的干干净净,她经常会去菜场买回一些
小河虾放在鱼缸里养着,男孩总问他为什么,女孩却总是慧心的一笑。
慢慢的,男孩每次回家,身上总是充满了不同的香水味道,而每次没等女孩
问,男孩总是忙着解释说应酬太多。女孩黯然,那时起,女孩不太爱说话了,也不像以
前那么开朗了,她总是喜欢成天的呆在家里,抱着枕头看韩剧,然后随着剧情哭泣,夜
深时,就会疯狂的大哭。以后的日子里,男孩回来时,身上的香水味只有一种味道了,
女孩从来不问,可是男孩依旧说:“对不起,今天又去应酬了。”

—— “对不起”,谎言的开始


渐渐的,男孩开始不回家,或总是在外出差,男孩的事业越来越好,身边都是
奉承的人,他每天都在别人的恭维下自豪的笑着,而女孩,几乎不出门了,她总会去超
市买上很多方便面,和一些必要的日用品,然后把自己关在家里,这一呆就是很久。从
前,女孩会经常和男孩一起聊聊天,而现在,她孤身一人,身边没有一个可以说话的
人,每次打电话问男孩什么时候回家,男孩总是仓促的回答到:“对不起,我太忙
了。”女孩,失落的扣上电话,那以后她再也没有问男孩什么时候会回家。

—— “对不起”,只是个敷衍的方式。



女孩学着电视上的样子,开始打扮自己,她觉得男孩不回家,也许是看腻了
她,她决定不再颓废,自己的幸福应该靠自己争取,而不是无谓的后退。
那天,女孩心血来潮,按照地址去了男孩工作的地方,那是女孩第一次去,也
是唯一的一次。女孩涩涩的按下电梯,来到这个男孩经常说忙的地方,她细细的观察这
个公司的每个角落,这里的一切,她都觉得很好看。终于,绕过长长的办公走廊,她来
到男孩的办公室,轻轻的推开门……女孩愣住了,眼前看到的不是自己的丈夫,也不是
那个经常弄坏她自行车的那个贼小子,更不是那个把虾放在小鱼缸里的男孩,而是一个
正在和别的女人做爱的男人。那个女人坐在桌子上,******的发出微弱的呻吟声,那个
男人,仿佛山林里饿极了的野兽……
许久,男孩才发现了女孩,男孩惊慌失措,忙把衣裤捡起来穿好。可女孩,转
身离开了。男孩飞奔出去,追着女孩,那晚,大雨袭击了整个城市。女孩不顾男孩的叫
喊,径直往前跑,往回家的方向跑,男孩在女孩后面大喊:“对不起,我还是爱你的,
对不起,我真的只爱你。”可女孩,始终没有听见。

—— 这样的“对不起”太伤人。


男孩一直都没有找到女孩,女孩失踪很久了。男孩的世界已经一片黑暗,无心
工作,无心花天酒地,他想不到女孩可以去哪里,因为女孩没有朋友,她唯一的朋友就
是男孩,男孩终日守着电话机,手机24小时不关机,怕错过了女孩的电话。这一等就是
半年多。
快递为男孩送来一个盒子。
男孩打开一看,里面是许多河虾的标本,有的在树叶边休息,有的在水草里躲
着,各式各样的河虾标本,旁边放着一封信。

“ 我始终没有勇气再见到你,可能是我太懦弱,也或许是我根本不想见到
你,我想这些『警告:注意文明用语!』应该过的没什么两样吧,我很好,我学会了离
开你怎么让自己存活,我懂得了怎样赚钱养活自己,而不用每天等着你回家,为你烧一
桌热腾腾的饭菜,直到凉了也不见你的人,我的手机已经不用了,因为我已经不会再为
你24小时的不关机,让自己饱受辐射的折磨。我懂得怎样去爱惜自己,珍惜自己的本来
应该美好的生活。我想,我是可以忘记怎么去爱你的,因为你把我的爱弄得遍地麟伤。
离婚协议书,就压在鱼缸的底下,你签完字,按照地址给我寄过来就行了。
对不起,我想我是真的累了。”

男孩按照地址找去,他满心希望能够见到女孩,然后让女孩原谅,并且告诉女
孩自己不能没有她,可是打开门的却是女孩的父亲,而女孩就站在她父亲的身后——是
女孩的遗像。
女孩的父亲告诉男孩,女孩在写完这封信后,跳楼自杀了,血肉一片模糊。

—— 原来“对不起”也可以是种结束。

那一年,男孩疯了。

每个人在自己的生命里头,一定会遇到一个自己真正该珍惜的人。请你好好的珍惜那一
个人,不是每一句的对不起,都可以换来每一句的没关系……千万不要辜负了自己心爱
的人,那对谁,都不好……把这个故事传下去,让你的朋友们知道,不要随意地说出对
不起......

Monday, April 27, 2009

What i want for my bday!



can i ask for cash?
seriously im in need of cash.
i accept internet-banking too :)
hee.....

Sunday, April 26, 2009

in 2009, i really dun wanna cry

i hope whatever curse that has landed on me will please please pleaseeeeeeee be lifted.
past 2 years i spend this period of the year crying.
i really dun want to spend this year crying.
please.


i know im not smart but im open to comments.
i cant be 100% perfect but i will try to be a better person.

i wish the tide will make me, will make us a stronger person, a stronger team.

get well soon!!!

get well soon MAG & DOM!!!!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

10 chapters

i got a paper in less den 24hours and i got 10chapters to absorb.
should i just burn the notes and drink it?

SHIT. so ridiculous!!

~tired~

Sometimes, I am so tired of everything that I have no idea how to let it out. I have no idea how to express it and I have no idea what to do about it. This sudden overwhelming of emotions & stress are making me irritated by the second. I have no idea that that would affect me so badly, even though I am trying to take it easy. I have no idea why, I feel so upset. I have no idea why, this chapter of my life is so upsetting. This is overwhelming. Am I feeling too much? am i wanting too much so much but my capability is just that little to handle it. i over-estimated my importance, and my own ability.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

-.-'''

i was chatting with Qinz via email.
tat woman forever zou bo at work recently.
the conversation came to a point i asked this,

ffz: eh ask u ar, is it rude for me to request $ as bday present.

qinz: no la! its not like we never give red packet before!

ffz: ahahaha
ai si ni le!!!!

:)

can request amt not?
LOL LOL


Qinz: Lol
We respect the birthday girl
But the presenter of the birthday gifts reserves the rights to change terms
and conditions prior to the actual day
LOL


-------------------

-.-'''''

Monday, April 13, 2009

a gal & a girlfriend

its hard being a gal.
its even harder being a girlfriend.

sigh!~

Monday, April 06, 2009

Babies Galore

Since 2009 started, its babies galore.
Presenting two new babies who usher themselves close to me:

Baby Jun Kai :)



baby Aaden

BUG ME PLEASE

i
am
being
very
very
very
cranky!!!!!


and i got no one to scream at...
no one...

and a lizard has to freak me out early this morning.
and i got two not-yet-reach-me-mails ... its mailed out last tues/weds.
oh great.....

can someone jus call/bug me and let me scream at....
pleaseeeeeee

OMFG!!!!

Friday, April 03, 2009

shop to destress, and end up stress cause you shop.

school's bothering the shit out of me.
took a min off and bought something to destress myself from all the datelines and last min cramming.

nice not?



i hope i can carry it off as well as beatrice.

ok! back to tutorials nw. oh fish!

twitter

should i start twittering?

but den again, i dun wanna end up like john mayer, who choose to twitter den cuddle up with JENNIFER ANISTION.
That guy's an idiot.
Don't think i will be like ashton kutcher, who posted pics of demi moore steaming his shirt in her BIKINI.
woohhhh too much details.

i guess i will be like cruz teng.
twitter cause everyone's twittering.

LOL

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

daugher? worth how much?

Life is much simple when you know:

1. go home there is packed food for you. instead you find only packed food for the younger one.

2. talks at home doesnt revolve around money. because of YOU i get amounts of stress.

3. there is really a genuine sincere thought to sponsor/lighten one semester of my sch loan. but i guess its just empty words.

im hurt.
i duno wat to say to you anymore.
i keep trying to be happy. but i have to keep fighting off your temper/ your requests.
if i can, i will do.
if i cant, im sorry i cant.
if you think the younger one is better den so be it.
anyway a daughter is always water tat is splash on the pavement, worthless.
many times u say u are not as traditional as dad, but i beg to differ.
in fact, you tink so highly of your son.
if given the same financial support, i do tink i can do better den him.
why dont you ask him to try working full time and study?

i guess none of you know my feelings.
you two are so bonded so i guess im jus the black sheep.
after you broke yr promise, i realise i cant trust anything anymore.
you make me feel like im the unreasonable one.
thank you.