MiStAkeN!!!! very hurt........ ;o(

well, its the weekend... and now i m at hm penning this entry to all of u.... it hurts to be mistaken ....you asked me not to be unreasonable cause it is an impt matter. BUT i haven even say anything yet. not even as much as make a tiny bit of comment. yes i m unhappy but whats the pt... there's no way u will understand.. it doesnt matter tat ur nx 2 wk ends are burn... it doesnt matter tat i was disappointed...it doenst matter that my wisdom tooth hurt like mad this couple of days.... it doesnt matter..... i really see no point in quarreling with you.. you wan a gf who understands whatever you do... oki.... do whatever you want den..... probably if u r free jus inform....btw disappointment sucks!

hey hey

hello...... yest nite travel to dear dear's home take back my camera cause my mum say she wan to use (in the end, today the camera is still in my possession)... haiz...... made me travel all the way there... but nvm la, at least can spend time with dear dear.... ate a bit of noodles and watch spore idols.... i tell u my jaws really can drop wondering how some of them get in (nt saying my voice v nice but hey at least i din join ma)... was quite impressed by the 'jessea' gal, nice voice, nice moves...... since yest very sad.. darling's hp got cut off (he did pay the bills).... well, some complications..... now i dunno how to contact him.... miss him.... hopefully he'll get a line by tonite IF NOT i'll .... i'll... erm, also dunno lei... hur hur..... tonite he is meeting 'her'... hopefully everything goes smoothly..... n ppl pray hard fr me that darling will finish his army thingy preparation early tml so he can meet me and dun nd to go back to camp on sun...... *i'm keeping my fingers crossed*.........

mOndAy - HOT day 23/8/2004

been a few days since i blog or jus pen in a few craps......
hey ppl how was yr weekend? mine sucks!!

sat went by in a flash of anger and tears. i dun like ppl to ask me to leave. it makes me feel abandoned... unwanted... when HE tell me he got nothing to say to me, gd bye... my heart sunk.... no matter how angry/sad i m at him, i will nv ask him to leave. i noe the feeling..... i wun do that to no one.....
i admit partly it was my fault .... but dun everyone deserves a chance to explain... to make things clear??? ..... i believe in equality... can you treat me liked how you are?? the one that i love from the start... i m not the past.. i m the present.... i will not hurt you cause u mean the world to me.... no matter hw hurt i m i will hide it cause i dun wan you to leave me.... the bond i felt fr you is stronger den i tot......

Sun... seeing that 'hand' hit you time and time again, my heart jus suffer punches ... over and over again... but wat can i do...??? nothing... this is the way things are ba..... in my heart i can only hope... no matter what we can withstand anything....
you are harsh on me... really harsh.... i noe i m stupid to make you always angry at me.... but i really wish you could take a softer approach at me..... i will not take advantage of your nice accomodating attitude.... but to deny me of the chance is jus not fair.... can be fair to me??? that is all i wish for....

.......................... i m tired................ really............ zzzzzzzzzz.............

WeD - 18/08/2004

today's a SICK day... been sick.. tummy ache but i still brace myself up.. cleared my messy room. Den went to Boon Lay to look for dear dear.....
he talk to me abt wat have i been upset with.... told him abt my unhappiness....
den he say - "jus do wat u r happy with, be it you will regret or not.... do wat you wan n not wat advice other ppl gif you"
In a way my unhappiness n confusion is cleared, but i guess i have to plan correctly so that i will not make the wrong decision.

p/s: i bought a pair of shoes $19.95 & an Espirit bag fr 50%...... (sponsor of my mummy!!)cheers!

tUeSdAy - 17/8/2004

17/8/2004
hot day!

the first half of the day went by in a blur..... busy at work today but system in the office still dwn so i still got piles n piles of work to do but haven do yet CAUSE STUPID SYSTEM IS DOWN!!! and everything is jus piling n piling!!!!! when the system is up, the work is jus goin to build on me......

now is 857pm. suddenly i feel so lost, alone...... nothing seems right.... [no its not the time of the month for those who think it is....]

i really dunno whats wrong... jus feel like crying... can anyone tell me what is wrong with me????!!!!!

ORANGE WOLF??????

hey... guess wat i m: (read below what i was told base on my birthday)

You are Orange Wolf type, who is plain and simple. You give an impression of being very clean and tidy. You don't get shy and are open sort of woman. You are very straight forward in that you do not really care about the others feelings and emotions. Therefore people think you lack feminine consideration.You are intelligent person, and have wide knowledge. You will not be influenced by emotions and therefore can make decisions objectively.You can express your individuality well, but in personal life, you tend to build a wall around you and will not let others intrude your life. This makes you open to criticism.You think high of your private life, and may not be able to see the situation you are placed. You can make calm decisions, and your criticism may give a wrong impression of you, but really you are kind and generous person.To those who can read your true feelings, they will appreciate your greatness. You don't have any wicked feelings, and are person of pure heart. You show humane generosity to people around you.You don't care about public opinion, and you live your life at your own pace. You will take time as long as you think is necessary before you come up with conclusion that you believe to be reasonable. And once you decide on things, you will go for a long term version, and your result will be consistent and steady.You can observe men well, and will choose by taking your future into consideration. After getting married, you will be better at being a mother than a wife. You will not depend on your husband so much and will have an ideal family.

MondAy BLUES - 16/8/2004

hey miss me ppl???? haa..... wanted to blog last nite but was too tired so have to forgo the idea..

ok.... weekend was a fleeting pass of time.....
sat 14/8/2004, went over to dear dear's place in the late afternoon.. den wait fr him to get change den went to town.... we went to bugis junction for dinner, had teppanyaki, yummy.... den walk around... 'beep beep!' my hp sounded, joleen msg me ask me wan meet la kopi not.. we made arrangements to meet at mr bean(selegie).. me and dear dear walking ard... his camp mates calling him one by one to go clubbing; but he say dun wan go cause i got headache(sweet right, wait till the nx sentence)... this weekend cannot, nx week cfm meet them (duhz)....

took bus to mr bean meet joleen, had a close shave at the pedestrain junction where by a stupid car ignore the traffic lights and nearly ram into me. nearly scared the hell out of us..

we stayed at mr bean and talk crap till 1+am den we head on home... so sleepy... went back slept liked a log.....

woke up nearly afternoon on sunday 15/8/2004, bathe and went jurong point fr lunch... walk ard a bit den back and became potato couches... watch vcd - american pie 2... damn hilarious sia.... a flicker moment its evening liao.. went to nearby coffee shop fr dinner... went back slack somemore.... by 10pm, mummy came and fetch me home....

end of my report fr how i spend my weekend....
there are unhappy times but i rather jus forget abt it cause the more i think the more unhappy i will be.....

-------------------------------------------------------------------
bottomline - cherish what you have. but dun hold on too tight cause u will nv noe this may be the reason why you actually lost everything you ever had!

frIdAy - 13/8/2004

hey ppl,
today was a normal day for me... met up with my dear dear.. baked two walnut cream cheese cake and cook lunch... japanese curry rice.... hmmm...... after tasting found the cakes still can make it la... haha.....
spend the whole afternoon on the couch watching vcds... watch - along came Polly which was a damn hilarious love show... den watch - euro trip which was R(rated) but damn funny... not much exposure of flesh.. basically jus the language....

Tummy was killing me this morning... cramps until i cant lie straight, only can curl up liked a ball ... it jus got so pain i couldnt control my tears... sob!..... i tried hard but guess not hard enuf.... took two painkillers when i can finally crawl out of my bed... thank god fr that!

dinner went causeway pt slack ard.. had dinner... pig organs soup with rice... and bought an espirit make up pouch to contain my makeup which is strewn all over the place... haha... but come to think of it, basically every stuff of mine is strewn all over my room.... wahahaha

alrighty, so much fr the report fr today!!! till tml den ( or maybe not cause my wk end not much time to use the pc)... haha...

ciao ppl....

sAd

is it so hard to trust someone??why promise when you only meant to break the person's heart with a broken promise?why say things you do not mean?how will you feel if ppl does that to you??i thought you were the one but all you r is jus a fiasco! everything is fake.. maybe even yr heart!you really broke my heart

wed - 11/8/2004

jus reach hm not long... had a long day at work... had to memorise lots of things n stuff to do.... wo..... nearly kill all my brain cells..... at 1st i tot there were not much to b done but boy, was i wrong... work are jus drowning me ... (but then again, time pass faster this way) .....

hp rang 10mins after i reach hm... dear called.. he's still stuck outfield with a bunch of army mates & insects(yucks)!!! but at least he took the effort to stop battling those insects n gif me a call. so excited told him tat my mum willing to sponsor me to study. he sounded genuinely excited fr me. duhz.... suddenly my heart misses him so much. nvm, fri he's on leave den i'll get to spend the whole day with him. he say wan to cum n fetch me fr work... =) ... b4 he hang up he say he'll call me when he goes back to camp... *yawn* i must try to hold it there. zzzz....... oops get up

was waiting at AMK mrt n saw some thing that absolutely turn me off... disappointed in ppl.... dun wanna talk abt it......

tml is another day of work...... funny... rather looking forward to it.... haha!!!

till tml again ppl.....
muacks!!!

p/s: anyone can teach an pc-idiot like me how to upload pic fr BLOG??? will greatly appreciate it.....

wILL my DrEam Come TRue???

hey hey think i m getting hooked on this... haa....
spoke to my mum last nite and i told her how much i will love to study again... pursue my dream in childhood education. guess wat, she agrees... oh boy oh boy....

she say she can sponsor my studies... my expenses will b on my own .......

oh gosh i m so excited!!..... now i only hope SIM will accept me..... hur hur...

wish me luck ppl!!

LOVE???? hmmm....

Infatuation is fleeting desire -- one set of glands calling to another. It is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about the relationship that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream. Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time. It is quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It gives you strength and grows beyond you to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his presence, even when he is away. Miles do not separate you. But near or far, you know he is yours and you can wait. Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing him." Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence." Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy. Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship that makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers. Infatuation lacks confidence. When he's away, you wonder if he's being unfaithful. Sometimes, you check. Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. He feels your trust, and it makes him even more trustworthy. Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction. Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you better than you were before."