so what!

yes i am not happy?
so!
bite me!
if not fuck off!

alone

崇拜

你的姿态 你的青睐
我存在在你的存在
你以为爱 就是被爱
你挥霍了我的崇拜

我豁了 我爱了
我都不管了
心爱到疯了 恨到散了
就好了

可能的 可以的
真的可惜了
幸福好不容易怎么你却不敢了呢

我还以为我们能不同于别人
我还以为 不可能的 不会不可能

你的姿态 你的青睐
我存在在你的存在
你以为爱 就是被爱
你挥霍了我的崇拜

风筝有风 海豚有海
我存在在我的存在
所以明白 所以离开
所以不再 为爱而爱
自己存在在你之外

not worthy

A great lecturer

I started off my everyday routine, checked emails and friendster for messages.
happen to see a friendster message from Cherlyn.
open it and man! was i uber stun!

message goes: hey, do you know michael sng CH pass away.

i was liked HUH WTF for a while.
quickly pick up my mobile and sms her.
she replied - i saw his obituary in the papers yest.
WTF.

Michael Sng was our Maths Lecturer during poly days.
He is my favourite lecturer cause he really knew how to understand youngster's thinking.
he will always let us munch in class but he say no chips cause too noisy.
a bowl of bee hoon?? - NO PROBLEM.
he will give us great tips for test and exams and guide us along.
he even let me put him as a referee for my resume.
even if he doesnt teach us anymore, he will always stop to chat with us if he sees us along the way.
he was a great lecturer.
he was a nice man.

condolences to his family.
To mr sng( or he will let us call him michael), you will always be remembered.

p/s:
as jon say - there is a saying - the good die young.

sigh~~

where are you?? come back to me.

where are you?

where is your smile?
where is your lame/cold jokes?
where is your frequent calls?
where is your replies to my sms?
where is your hug?
where is your reach-out-and-hold-my-hand?
where is your warm embrace?
where is your cheeky attitude?
where is your love?
where is your care?
where is your tender looking eyes?

where are you???

your eyes r cold
your calls are NONE
your replies r NO.
your hug is not present
your warm embrace is not there
your love?
do you care?

hz long must i be punish?
how long will u take to realise i love you?
how long will you be you?

i dont want anything!
i just want YOU to be you.. to come back to us being you!
pls come back!

Life is so fucking fragile. RIP

Been reading news lately, following the dragon boat tragedy of the Singapore Team in Cambodia.
Although i do not know the rowers , but its really a SHAME.
All 5 who met with death are excellant ppl who r doing Singapore proud.
WORSE still they are SO YOUNG!
thank god, 17 others managed to stay alive.
Condolences to those who sacrificed for glory this time.

Short news :

It was a tearful farewell for the 17 surviving teammates of 5 Singaporeans who drowned in Cambodia's dragon boat accident - including (l-r) Poh Boon San, Jeremy Goh and Reuben Kee - as they knelt in prayer on the edge of the Tonle Sap River

For those who wants to see blog dedicated to them, i only manage to find one - www.rememberingjerbroni.blogspot.com

rest in peace.

happy birthday

Happy birthday to the greatest love in my life....
my dearest MAMA!!!
love you loads mummy!
although i still think u nag too much. :p

'congratulate me'

quick congratulate me.
i m now officially going to lead a dog's life and spend like a cat.
all for the sake of a piece of cheap laminated paper and a square head gear that is only won for less den a few hours.
sigh... im so superficial ....

no more when. no more what if.

its a pressure
being in love and being love is pressurizing.
if i love you more den u love me, its natural.
but if the gap is too huge its pressurizing.
for both you and me.

out normal life there is already so much pressure from the surroundings.
family, friends, work, studies.
alot.

love should be natural, carefree and happy.
enjoying the company of each other, able to pour sorrows to each other, able to understand each other.
most importantly, communicate with each other.

i realise the more u love someone who cant love you as much is just creating an invisible burden, physically and emotionally.
when i cry i want you to console me, what if you turn the other direction?
when i get moody, i wan u to cheer me up, what if you turn the other way?
when i have good news i want to share with you, what if you dun rejoice?
i have loads of love to give around, what if you dun accept?
when i make u mad, i wanna say sorry, what if you wun hear?
when i hurt you, i want to make it up to you, what if you dun care?
when if i decided to leave you without telling you, what if you dun even give a damn?
if loving is a pressure to you, the more 'when' i have, the more 'what if' you will fufil.
pushing someone for an answer, a conclusion, a decision is tough and adds on to the tears streaming down.
its not right.
love shd be self-less, natural and given freely.
if you think the less 'what if' you are force to fufil makes you happy den be happy.
having less 'when' reduces the heart from jerking once too often.

we ourself gets so pressurized we put the ppl ard us in pressure also.
aint want tat to happen.
i pray to ppl ard me to be happy.
to love selflessly.
i no longer want to bother abt 'when' anymore.

quote

someone told me
~ this is my heart n soul. smash it into a hamburger and enjoy it.

how true is that?

说真的 ~ this time it hurts uber bad...

说分手却还是再复合
但最伤心的话却都已说过了
会突然就不知该说什么
而每一个微笑也不能再一样了
有太多的分分合合太多的伤口难愈合
我们该怎么回到当初那样呢
我想着想着人也瘦了
我想着想着夜都深了
我不想再想了不如就算了
我想着想着泪都干了
我想着想着天又亮了
我不想再想了
这一次说真的算了

这一次说真的算了不如就算了
不如就算了算了算了说真的

我想着想着人也瘦了
我想着想着夜都深了
我不想再想了不如就算了
我想着想着泪都干了
我想着想着天又亮了
我不想再想了
这一次说真的算了

good news

I received good news but i dont reali feel excited about it.
sighz~

寂寞

一个人偶尔感到寂寞再所难免

我会好好过

你的爱很像泡沫
太轻或太重
都不在手中
我的爱就像天空
太放或太收
你都只是风
你来过却爱上自由
你出走我不问理由
等你再爱我
总有个角落
会让你想起我
向右或向左
都有我站在这里守候
你留下很多
够我面对寂寞
寂寞不重
重是爱太多
当你回头
看到的一定是我

our song....

为什么

为什么从头了又要伤害我
为什么又让我这样难过
你是故意还是无心
怎能对我这样无情
为什么你又要让我哭泣
为什么又让我这样过

no one

Living with or without

which is harder now?
living with someone or living without someone?
i really dont know.
often we let our hearts bring us on the path in front of us. no matter how much our mind wants to block out the heart, it usually fails.
often we ask ourself, without the other party, can we live? can we still carry on our daily lifes. still laugh, cry, get angry, eat, slp and make merry?
i keep asking myself, what is more scary.
living with a doubt in the heart or living without the person.
i really dont have an answer.
everyone say being better, treating ourself better makes us a happier person.
m i not treating myself well enough?

R.a.i.n.b.o.w

Does seeing rainbow means the stormy weather is leaving soon?
Does it mean anger will get over soon?
sigh. im upset.
i hate seeing him mad at me.

i am sorry

i am sorry.
in spite of my anger, i should have hold back my lashing.
sorry baby

a convenience

having random mood feelings.
a moment happy, a moment frustrated, a moment just nonchalent.
everyday is a war. a war with our inner self. a war with the people around us.

yes. im being emo again.
i realise i am starting to hate the way ppl around me treats me.
im just like a convenience.
oh, no one to chat, call isa
oh, no one to go out with, call isa.
oh, no one to ask to help, call isa.

i dont mind helping, dun mind listening, dont mind going out. but i mind being only a convenience.

its being only a convenience that causes me to be emo.

sigh.

i need to cheer up.

SAMSUNG brought US together

MY lovely friendship with my lil frens.
my xiao peng you.
these two are the treasures i value from Samsung.
:)

rainbow after a storm

we had misunderstandings but we overcome it!



we survived it. time is never a factor. when we meet up its jus pure FUN.
thats why we are fanatic 4

we all grew up

We went thru marriage ( not to each other)



we went thru years of birthday



we grew up tgt for a phrase in our life!

den and now

Back den, i might have smell weird.... note: i look hideous in the pic. my eyes arent usually that small. gulpz




Right now, i smell good.
as good as we look.
:)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NADIA!!!

to my lovely lil cousin,
NADIA D/O GULAM SARWAR SHAH S/O HYATT SHAH

LOL...

happy birthday babe!
stay pretty and cheeky always.
remember no more secrets to be kept from me.
i wun scold u cause im always here for you.

NO MORE TATTOOS...
u look fine now....

love u babe!