my ''farewell'' dinner with a bunch of nice colleagues

i had dinner with tete, andy & xiuhui. too bad, iris sick cant make it..... shandia has class.
we went the ichiban boshi at esplanade.... yummy food, lovely company.
after that we went to ice monster for shave ice... wow, the ambassador fr the shop is JULIAN HEE... (aww... gorgeous guy)

i will definitely miss them all.....

Hana - Kimi

Rui Xi (Ella) had came back from America when she falls in love with a boy named Zuo Ye Quan after seeing his high jump performance on television. Wanting to get to know him more, she decides to find out all about him and go to the same school as him. But, theres a problem; Quan goes to an all boy's high school! After much persuasion to her family and getting help from her good friend, Rui Xi then disguises herself as a boy and goes to the high school Quan attends.Coincidently, She attends the same class and stays in the same dormitory room with Quan! On her first day of school, she was late and bump onto someone on the way to class. In a hurry, she rushed off. Unknowingly, that guy was Quan. She wanted to be friends with Quan and was very straightforward but was rejected (he thought she was gay). Finding that Rui Xi was rather straightforward,Zhong Jin Xiu Yi(Jiro Wang) befriends Rui Xi. During physical lesson, Everyone found out that Rui Xi was a very fast runner. Even breaking the school's record. Jealous, Xiu Yi challenged her. After the run, she faints. To her rescue was Quan (found out she was a girl but kept it to himself) and he brought her to the school's doctor Mei Tian, who is a gay. He too, found out about Rui Xi's identity but promise to keep it a secret. He soon became her consoler when she needed someone to talk to. Xiu Yi soon falls in love with Rui Xi, but doesn't know that Rui Xi is a girl and keeps suspecting himself of being gay. Quan and Rui Xi soon becomes friend and both starts to develop a very close friendship. Many mishaps and challenges awaits Rui Xi.Will she be able to get her life through high school perfectly, without anyone discovering that she's a girl, but at the same time be close to Zuo Ye Quan ?

feeling like a prude.....

was just msn-ing with jon just now..... pouring my heart out to him.....


ono..<> :
yeah
Jono..<> :
just got up
Jono..<> :
go ahead
Jono..<> :
shoot
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
if u realise the gal u likes ur fren, wat will u do?
Jono..<> :
like that ah
Jono..<> :
there's nothing you can do
Jono..<> :
you love her but she loves someone else
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
will u be mad at ur fren?
Jono..<> :
no
Jono..<> :
unless he potong jalan
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
it happen to my fren n he is super mad. he he thinks his ex is cheap.. hai
Jono..<> :
haa...
Jono..<> :
in a way la
Jono..<> :
then it just means that girl doesn't love him that much
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
true also
Jono..<> :
crystal sent me a msnmsg yesterday
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
betwn them they hve some issues also to result to the break up
Jono..<> :
asking me how i was

Jono..<> :
break up good
Jono..<> :
haa...
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
den did u reply her?
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
so where u went last nite?
Jono..<> :
nope didn't reply
Jono..<> :
went to eagle street pier blow wind
Jono..<> :
sat at a cafe
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
sounds cool lei
Jono..<> :
talk, chatted...
Jono..<> :
walk walk
Jono..<> :
sit down at a bench
Jono..<> :
haa....
Jono..<> :
tasty
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
bench or beach?
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
salty la.. haha
Jono..<> :
bench
Jono..<> :
salty?
Jono..<> :
why?
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
all the sea breeze
Jono..<> :
not sea breeze
Jono..<> :
river breeze
Jono..<> :
not salty at all
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
orh
Jono..<> :
very nice
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
Jono..<> :
and yesterday was cold
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
ar
Jono..<> :
little chilly
Jono..<> :
you ?
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
me?
Jono..<> :
didn't go out
Jono..<> :
?
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
i spend all my time at hme now. duno wats wrong with me
Jono..<> :
Hmm..
Jono..<> :
that's good too
Jono..<> :
jay was like that for a while
Jono..<> :
now he's fine
Jono..<> :
ating this new girl
Jono..<> :
dating
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
prob is i m liked moodless nw
Jono..<> :
you'll be okay
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
i dun even wan to go out. my fren i'm mad
Jono..<> :
haa..
Jono..<> :
save money first, store power, then one time let go
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
ha...
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
even my bro has a gf nw
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
see them l0vey dovey makes me
Jono..<> :
haa...
Jono..<> :
relax
Jono..<> :
now you can enjoy your life
Jono..<> :
spend all your money on yourself
Jono..<> :
pamper yourself
Jono..<> :
it's good la
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
u noe i feel tat i m like lost in myself
Jono..<> :
don't think of the bad, think of the good
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
its like the feeling that i cant understand myself either
Jono..<> :
don't worry
Jono..<> :
everyone is changing and evolving
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
at times i giggle like a mad woman, den suddenly for a period of time i jus dun feel like talking
Jono..<> :
use this time to sort your life out
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
i dun hve confidence in myself anymore
Jono..<> :
that's so like me too
Jono..<> :
have la
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
n i dun meet ppl easily....
Jono..<> :
i think you're looking pretty good lately
Jono..<> :
your msn pic is nice
Jono..<> :
how's that for an ego booster?
Jono..<> :
haa...
Jono..<> :
and i'm nt saying it just to make you feel good
Jono..<> :
you're okay...
Jono..<> :
have some confidence
Jono..<> :
trust me
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
i feel like a prude
Jono..<> :
God has made our other halves and their out there
Jono..<> :
it's only a matter of time before you guys meet
Jono..<> :
so meanwhile, enjoy your life...
Jono..<> :
don't have to go looking for him
Jono..<> :
no la
Jono..<> :
why so down?
Jono..<> :
menses?
Jono..<> :
man i gotta go kay
Jono..<> :
talk to ya later
Jono..<> :
don't think so much aight?
Jono..<> :
you'll be fine
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
hope so
i.s.a - u i - i miss mdm lee kim huay! :
i have been feeling like a prude for a long time already

i always felt better after talking to him but this time round, it feels the same.... boring.....

pretty boys galore

i'm hooked on pretty boys... boys that are out of reach, the closest i can get to them is by placing my pouty lips on my lappy's screen or my plasma tvvvvvv..... thats the pathetic closeness i have towards them. haiz.... why are there so many pretty boys around except in singapore. oh gosh, so disappointing.

i got hooked on ou xiang ju.... one after another... starting with meteor garden 1 & 2, mars, and the list just goes on.... now i go gaga over pretty boys on screen... F4 is so passe already (but i still like zaizai, still a cutie).....

now my ''collection'' of fantasy is:
- Joe Zheng Yuan Chang (It started with a kiss)
- He Jun Xiang Mike (Devil beside me)
- Wu Zun ( tokyo juliet, hana kimi)
- Rain (Full house)
- *shin goon* *yul goon* (Goong)

for Goong, to be honest, all the guys are rather cute...
pretty boyssss..... eye candyyyyyyy

happy birthday joleen

happy birthday joleen!!.....

went ktv and seafood dinner to celebrate joleen's birthday......

;)

switching frequencies

think i m really getting weird.
kelly just called me just now, ask me to go k-ge.... (sing karaoke), but i told her im brokez and the fact that i just ordered mac D delivery.
she was liked - how come you don't go out liao... always hear u stay at home.

it got me thinking.
i am liked this now. i seldom go out. even now when i m on long leave, i choose to stay at home. going to places like sun plaza is also a hassle for me.
i feel different.
in the past, orchard is never far for me. now i find orchard troublesome.
the thought of travelling up and down makes me all weak and 'nuahz'.
gosh what is happening to me??

even when my friend offer to pick me up to go out, i just don't have the mood to go out.
being brokez is one thing. but guess the main thing is i lost my spirit.
being lifeless now.

i stayed at home since i was on leave on thursday till now.
rotting and watching VCDS of idol drama series.
i just finish tokyo juliet in liked 1 day.... the show is nice but a bit draggy.
haven even started watching MY GIRL yet which i have to like return in less den 2 days to my friend.
i was eagerly anticipating watching it but now i don't feel the rush already.

i just don't feel the rush for anything anymore. its really like at a dead monotonous speed.
lost of direction and feeling a sense of betrayal.

i only feel a jolt when i see wu zun on screen.... i just love pretty boys.....

howl

i love this link and dont you just think he's cute.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLn0QUG1fZw

super nice.....

howl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLn0QUG1fZw

depressive disorder

A depressive disorder is an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. It affects the way a person eats and sleeps, the way one feels about oneself, and the way one thinks about things. A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be willed or wished away. People with a depressive illness cannot merely "pull themselves together" and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people who suffer from depression.
Major depression is manifested by a combination of symptoms (see symptom list) that interfere with the ability to work, study, sleep, eat, and enjoy once pleasurable activities. Such a disabling episode of depression may occur only once but more commonly occurs several times in a lifetime.
Not everyone who is depressed or manic experiences every symptom. Some people experience a few symptoms, some many. Severity of symptoms varies with individuals and also varies over time.
Depression
Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
Restlessness, irritability
Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain
People who have low self-esteem, who consistently view themselves and the world with pessimism or who are readily overwhelmed by stress, are prone to depression. Whether this represents a psychological predisposition or an early form of the illness is not clear.
Women experience depression about twice as often as men.1 Many hormonal factors may contribute to the increased rate of depression in women particularly such factors as menstrual cycle changes, pregnancy, miscarriage, postpartum period, pre-menopause, and menopause. Many women also face additional stresses such as responsibilities both at work and home, single parenthood, and caring for children and for aging parents.
Depressive disorders make one feel exhausted, worthless, helpless, and hopeless. Such negative thoughts and feelings make some people feel like giving up. It is important to realize that these negative views are part of the depression and typically do not accurately reflect the actual circumstances. Negative thinking fades as treatment begins to take effect. In the meantime:
Set realistic goals in light of the depression and assume a reasonable amount of responsibility.
Break large tasks into small ones, set some priorities, and do what you can as you can.
Try to be with other people and to confide in someone; it is usually better than being alone and secretive.
Participate in activities that may make you feel better.
Mild exercise, going to a movie, a ballgame, or participating in religious, social, or other activities may help.
Expect your mood to improve gradually, not immediately. Feeling better takes time.
It is advisable to postpone important decisions until the depression has lifted. Before deciding to make a significant transition change jobs, get married or divorced discuss it with others who know you well and have a more objective view of your situation.
People rarely "snap out of" a depression. But they can feel a little better day-by-day.
Remember, positive thinking will replace the negative thinking that is part of the depression and will disappear as your depression responds to treatment.
Let your family and friends help you.

a note to all

alone in my room. thinking of a lot of things. i realise i never told my friends what i felt and wanted to tell them from the bottom of my heart.
let me just say how i feel not in alphabetical order so my friends pls think the 1st one is most important and the last one the least important.

zan: i want zan to be happy. dun stay at the same point doing things for the person that you sould not do for. i can understand the heart pain and the soft heart that gives in. softness is the point that makes a lot of woman's 'death' in relationship. personally i am like this as well.
kel: i want kel to be sure of what she want. let herself be happy with the one who truly makes her happy. as women we all wish that our better half is someone we can rely on, stable, mature and ''gu jia'' but deep down love is most important. find someone you truly love. and if you found that someone already i am really happy for you.
grace: my happily married friend. i m really happy for her that she found someone who dotes on her so much and can stay with her through happiness n sadness. be happy friend. but remember friends are important as well.

roselyn: your baby coming soon. excited about the birth. i know you will be a great mummy. u have a great hubby and loving family...
joleen: my wish is to attend your wedding. i know this is what you really wish for. and i know you will be very happy about it. i want you to be happy. and sometimes being happy is when you are back to your old self again.
valerie: i want val to finally settle down. in her lovely nest. i want to attend her chinese wedding and wait for her to give birth to white white chubby babies as well.

bao bao: i want bao bao to be sure what she wants in life but at the same time dun forsake the old. old may not always be holding you forward but afterall they are part of the process which we grew up from. they let us learn what we need to learn to walk down the steps in our future.
number 3: i want number 3 to be happy. although i dunno her long but we can really click. i know number 3 is a very simple gal who just needs a simple life. someone to care for her and someone to be there for her.

ed: sometimes certain things in life cannot be forced. i know how u feel but u also know that if u care for someone u will want the person to be happy. be cool and succeed in life.. that is most important for a man.
pabu: take care. be happy. don't stress too much. you will get your gf of 8yrs back. u jus have to have faith.

jon: i know this time you are better. but i also know u r hurting inside. but u r so much stronger than me. always my buddy.

jena: young and lovely fren. always chirpy. stay that way.

chipmunk: although you are my pillar when i m sad. i know at times u are sad too. always a friend. thank you.

i have many things deep down i don't really know how to express. but pardon me, i need to be by myself. take care.

my weekend

roarrrrrrr another week end pass without me even manage to get enuf fun... geez...

last week end was spent eating n eating....
friday went DXO with ''number 3'' , her fren cheryl, kelly & zan. we went chill out at the rooftop live singing. coincidentally one of the singer is my pri sch mate, joel.... he's change a lot wor. used to be short n scrawny. now tall and beefier. voice is not too bad as well... ;)
ohhhh, and we bump into alvin and his guy gang.... almost all of his frens was attracted by number 3, which i am not suprise. she can really dance lo. liked energizer battery. the wonders of youth... sighhhhhh.....

saturday went for yi quan's 2nd birthday party. my my, the boy is getting cuter lo.... *smiles* , so hyper.... in the night went for jena's 21st birthday... poolside party at warren country club... the bday gal was pretty (as always).... pictures posted.... 21 years old liao gal!!!! woo hoo!!!! can do anything u want liao. heh heh......

sunday went town walk around a bit and had dinner den it was home sweet home.

don't you all jus wish week end doesnt end so soon..... GRRRRRR

note: countdown - 21days.

i want to increase my EQ/IQ

i feel lost recently.....
maybe cause i am facing a soon-to-be jobless crisis....
oh well i m that unlucky. my dept is closing down , so OUT i go from Samsung...
im sad, cant bear to leave my colleagues but at the same time, i noe if its time to move on, its time to move on....
market is so dry now that i dun realli have the motivation left.
have send a few resumes but no response yet....
ppl give me a chance!!!!
screammmmmm!!!

another thing:
i want to break free.
i dun wan to care anymore, dun wan to worry anymore, dun wan to be sad abt him anymore.
what for.....
to him:
i care alot about you. even more than you can give me credit for.
i have never rejected helping, never turn you down when you ask me, never expecting anything back in gratitude.
i worry abt you, worry are you well, are you working too hard, are you unhappy at times.
i cry when you give me attitude, frown when i dun get reply from you.


i hate being the dumb ass who grins to herself when u express a little concern, when u send a simple sms such as 'morning'.... i hate it!!! i hate wanting to tell you my well being, my problems , wishing u can just express a little concern.... wishful thinking! i reali question my own EQ/IQ.

i care alot about you and i still love you. but i think its time to let go... its pass my time frame. i want to cherish you, cherish what we have but maybe we just dun have enough strength to hold this bond together.
take care of yourself.