a note to you

im sorry.
really...

emo momo

sigh. not a surprise anymore :/

i hope it taste nice as reviewed.

高?

SAME MISTAKE

So while I'm turning in my sheets
And once again, I cannot sleep
Walk out the door and up the street
Look at the stars beneath my feet
Remember rights that I did wrong
So here I go

Hello, hello

There is no place I cannot go
My mind is muddy but
My heart is heavy, does it show
I lose the track that loses me
So here I go

oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo...

And so I sent some men to fight,
And one came back at dead of night,
said "Have you seen my enemy?"
said "he looked just like me"
So I set out to cut myself
And here I go

oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo...

I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice,
Give me reason, but don't give me choice,
Cos I'll just make the same mistake again,


oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo...

And maybe someday we will meet
And maybe talk and not just speak
Don't buy the promises 'cause
There are no promises I keep,
and my reflection troubles me
so here I go

oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo...

I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice,
Give me reason, but don't give me choice,
Cos I'll just make the same mistake (REPEAT) again

oo oooooo ooo ooo oo oooo...

So while I'm turning in my sheets

And once again, I cannot sleep

Walk out the door and up the street

Look at the stars

Look at the stars, falling down,

And I wonder where, did I go wrong.

feeling shitty

having this sense of loneliness and emptiness bugging me.

Are we all so busy with our own on-going life that we forgot about others that are IN our lifes now also?
why do people need care? need concern? need attention?
TO NOT FEEL FORGOTTEN!
often the more we crave for TLC we get none.
often we seek attention we are ignored/neglected.
often this is the case.
people always say - if u keep chasing after something, it just slips away, further from you.

Is the stress getting to me?
How come i keep feeling shitty recently?
i wanna throw tantrums but i cant.
i wanna jus sit in one corner n whine, but i cant.
i wanna jus throw everything aside and run away, but i cant.
i jus feel empty.
where's my life?
my vibrant self?
come back to me.

and the oyster got FIRED.. chao you yu!

and i found out the oyster was 'sacked'
haa...

yes you

i love you!
yes you! stop looking around.
i do love you!

:D
Cheerios!

new name?

im contemplating changing my blog address.
why?
cause feifeizhu in the long run might reali come true in reflection.
hahaha.
hmmm, now what should i change to?

*pondering*

Lil Miss School AGAIN

Im blogging in the position of ms student feifeizhu.
the qns now on my mind is - what the hell possess me to want to carry on the book burden and study again.
i must have been crazy.
carrying on a financial burden for 5yrs. all for the sake of the tiny better quality sealed paper which eventually i will get it laminated for storage purpose.
that paper which is suppose to bring me to higher level in my career and make a difference in my life. does it?
the bf ask me today - r u tired?
my answer - im very tired.
he replies - c la. who ask u go n study. now become so tired. haha.
as much as i grumble, as much as he tease, we both know that getting this degree is for my own good. for OUR future?
work and school's been taking pretty much of my time.
friday nights are permanently burn out as far as i know now.
haha...
in a way its also ok cause i probably will shop less (i hope!)
i sleep less and in the process of developing dark rings n double vision recently (result of lack of slp).. haha...
commercial law is confusing me to the max lo.
i guess i better prepare my revision early.
plus, assignment due in week 6 & week 10.
acounting so far lecturer's been making it bearable.
for the amount im paying per lesson, i got to buck up my ass man!

roberto carrot jena tan, pls stop ur plans to keep tempting me to skip classes. tsk tsk tsk. go find a job quick la! :p

yawnz... sleepy...

feifeizhu signing out...

state of depression

in a state of depression
my pinky..

sigh!
pray hard its at bf's place.

God damn flu

Haven been myself lately.
Cough been bugging me since christmas till now.

n how do u know if you have a flu.
when ur nose is running from jogs to marathon
ur eyes r literally aching
u try yr hardest to breathe thru one ventilation hole thru what u have on ur face. nose. yes block nose.
u cough n cough, u secretly hope ur lungs will not pop out n bounce away from u.
ur throat itch and u wheeze.
at this moment, u wish someone will grab u, haul u onto the bed, turn down the blinds, tuck u in and just nurse u back to health.

sniff sniff. my hero? my nurse?

The reflection of my past, my 2007. and Big Hi 2008!

its 02.01.2008.
its strange. i need to get use to writing 2008 at e end of the dates i write from now on. cause 2007 left.
wow. fast.
2007 was a pretty fast year and quite a year i can say.

In 2007, i :
- got back a relationship i learn to want to treasure hard
- got my first ever 'appreciation' in work.
- plan my first christmas event for work.
- tried a new rush of feelings
- got accepted into SIM-RMIT
- got caught for jay-walking. (yes, wo shi ge you an di de xiao hai, sighz)
- went bangkok & batam.
- tried merchant court hotel for the first time
- for the first time, wanted to give up my heart.
- took on a debt to pave a way for my future.

from 2007, i brought to 2008 :
- my blurness
- my appointment book
- my shopaholic character
- my short comings
- my deficit bank account
- my family, my friends
- my old self.

In 2007, i seen myself pretty much the same. i still have the same job, same friends, still the ever eccentric family, my weird blow hot & cold boyfriend whom i still love.
What i didn't anticipate for myself in 2007 was i grown up a bit. i learn that often things dun go the way we want. the more we try to chase after something, the further it gets. so why not take a back seat and try to relax.
if its meant to be, its meant to be.
Everything seems to be using this logic. relationship, friendship, work, social life.
if we try too hard, in the end we are physically and emotionally torn apart when things dun go our way.
so lets take it easy.

So For 2008, i wan isabelle to:
- study hard and get good results.
- work hard and gain recognition
- save up for my yearly trips. this time i wanna go hong kong or taiwan.
- learn to be more understanding, to be more caring, to be more womanly.
- to love my family more

BYE 2007. i had fun, tears and anger with you.
Hi 2008, lets have a ball with u to see what's in store for me!

Happy new year peeps!