recently

so boreddddddd.... roarrrrrrrr
now is like 330pm in the office... super sianz lo... finish my daily routine work so pretty much quite nuah at the moment.
this has become my weekly routine.... goshhh....
lucky today thurs already. tml friday yippee!

tml going bar none with kelly and grace. newman event. hmmm...
kel say to dress to kill... erm... i don't really know how to though. haha.
she say dress like when i go to velvet but hor, i've never been to velvet... haha
so in the end she gave up
she just ask me not to dress too down.... ok, guess i pretty much got an idea what to wear.

*yawn*
i am falling asleep....
oh another thing, i think i have been eating too much, therefore expanded my internal capacity.
i went malaysia recently and i was liked eating eating and eating.
bah kut teh, dim sum, abalone, porridge, kfc, claypot, cakes, etc
haiz.. its killing me.....

back in singapore i started to keep eating also... oh man.... totally sinful

i need to cut back and diet

me and my addiction - sarang heng gayo!

spending too much

i got a serious problem:
i have been spending too much.

ok, i shop a lot but recent month i din get much things but hey, my $$ disappears in a poof. i din eat alot also. something is very wrong.
where is my money??

i decided to draw my purse strings tighter.
apart from bills and household money, i decided to put on hold all shopping until i get my finance right again.

i decided to stop clubbing, stop goin expensive restaurants. i got to learn to go home after work in order to cut down on expenditure.
even for lunch i think i must really go for the CHEAP and good food.
its quite sad that i m so big yet i cant seem to plan my financial properly.
pathetic, i got to learn to save.... i got to.....
$$$$$ i want money....

how will I know when i've met the one

there's no right person, so stop worrying about it.
its absolutelu ridiculous to believe someone (who, GOD?) has hand-ipcked one person in the world to make you truly happy.
the truth is, most of us won't meet just one person and stay with them for life, but have three or four serious loves.
each of those people will have been right for us at that time, so relax.

- this is what i read in a junkie magazine. come to think of it, it is quite true.

just like what i watch on tv yesterday:

love like you have never been hurt before
sing like no one is listening,
dance like no one is watching,
love like you have never been hurt before

strong.... got to learn to be strong

i am not a strong person.
often i lie in bed weeping. why? - because i feel lonely.
at times when i m sick, i feel so alone. like no one gives a damn if i will die or not.
i know its extreme but i am such a person.

i got to learn to be strong
to be independent.
to be tough.

at least i got to get my life direction clear. got to know what i want in life and what i have to do to achieve it.

i got to let go of the old weak me and emerge a tough bitch.
even if so, i just got to learn to protect myself.
dun be too nice especially if kindness is not appreciated.

its liked a dream. i woke up

i think the pressure is getting too heavy on me.
i don't want to pretend i am fine when i m not.
i dislike smiling. smiling when my heart is not.
i am really unhappy.
i dun feel care/concern or whatsoever shit.
i think i need to disappear to be on my own.
all along i m the fool
the fool who's fooling myself.
the one who is kidding myself everything is fine and i have what i want and i can be with who i want.
its all just a joke.
this joke is getting so big i feel stupid.

i really think i m not cut out for the adult's world of fun and games.
everyone is playing mind games with me.
everyone is fucking up my mind with their conversations, their lies, their hidden actions.
its so scary.
one minute i can smile at you, but at yr back i m stabbing straight at your heart
i'm just a replacement.
replacement when friends is unable to meet u
replacement when the one u love ditch you
replacement when loneliness overcomes you.
i m just in other words A SUBSTITUTE!!

its time i snap out.
im leaning too much far back.
i just want to be alone now.

a bit late but still

my suprise for chantelle work!
she smile...
late but still - happy birthday gal

my love come out with new album

my 'love' came out with new album.... LIKE IT!!!

i is sad

doctor told me my gastric no good
so no coffee, tea and chocolates!!!

not that i mind that much not drinking coffee/tea but CHOCOLATES.
its sad.
its really sad.
one of the oldest love in my life and i cant even touch it!.

sighz......
endure pain n snuck in a few of those small but delightful pleasures or
wave goodbye.....