you first? or he first?

in our one of our daily conversation, i asked babe this qns:

would you want to go first or would you want your spouse to go first? (edited from actual words, meaning the same)

At times i have visions of dreams of family/hon passing away, i would often wake up in tears.
its so scary.
the pillar of support just leaving us like that.
as much as i hope, no one can live forever. its pretty insane qin shi huang thinks he can be an immortal based on a yucky pill. crap.

would you want to live till 60? 70? 80? 90?
babe says she's contented at 60+, 70....

right now im not selfish, i would prefer my spouse to go first so he wun be lonely if i left first.
but pls, let us love each other, hold hands dwn the road, see our kids & grandkids, perhaps great grandkids (a bit hard considering the fact i not married till this age yet.)
whats got to leave , will eventually leave.
whats gonna be left is the memory we hold. the pact we made to each other when we were young.

cherish & treasure the ones you have next to you, in your heart.
ps: mummy, although i curse and grumble each time i feel let down by you, i still love you.... and hon, you too k!