seeking forgiveness... i wouldnt be around for a while

sometimes i feel tired i just wanna take a break and relaxlook ard me, see what kind of ppl walking past me.see what environment i am in.strangely i cant seem to find a footing that is suitable for me.hanging out at cafe? boring....clubbing? tiring.....watching movie? lazy....eating? fattening....nuahing? i get moody awhile after....exactly what do i really want at this junction of my life....me is really lost.....often i ask myself why make myself unhealthy..i dun exactly feel the same anymorei jus want to take a break, hide myself and cover myself with tears and unhappiness for once.this is liked the real me.the real isabelle crys over the slightest thing that triggers her water taps. but she doesnt do it now. so she is not isabelle. is she being hu xia? hmmm.... dunno.....sorry if i offended anyone with my insensitivity, but honestly i m really really tired. just wanna be selfish....i care abt all my friends and family but at the same, i decided i wanna be alone.at least for now....seeking forgiveness.....