Today..

i had one whole day to myself today.
i got to think alot of things.
maybe some things i still haven been able to think thru but i guess i need time.

i guess love is pretty much hurting most of the times.
out of my past relationships, i usually get hurt.
often after these r/s i feel lousy about myself.
i start questioning if i m really suitable for relationship.
guess it just happened again now.

i am really mad at him. mad at him for letting me go liked this.
i dont understand how he can just dont love me just like that.
i keep feeling that he really hurt me hard n hard n hard.
but suddenly a thought came to me, i think i have hurt him too.
i hurt him cause i was insensitive to his feelings. i wasnt able to live up to his expectations of a gf that he wants in his heart.
i just wasnt able to give him the lovey-dovey feelings he wants.
for this, i apologize.
im sorry.
i guess i am maybe nt suitable for r/s now.
i need to learn to be a better person.
i am really sad but i guess i got to learn to live with it.
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i feel lousy.
i feel fat n pimply recently.
he used to say i need to slim down and i got too much pimples.
i guess i am liked this ba.
so think i need a change.

a note to guys: pls dun tell yr gf she is fat, ugly, pimply that sort of hurting comments. rem that when u decided to be with her, she is already this way. if u really want her to improve, u can easily say it in a gentle way to make her feel better. n pls a NO NO is to compare her with other girls. its really very mean. if she accepts you for who u r, den is it fair u do the same to her?

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i start thinking a lot about my own future ''upgrading''. .
i want to think what i want for myself in future.
cause now its for me, myself and I.
i got to start looking around already.

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i am sad but do give me time...

note to him: i wish u happiness in whatever yr future may be.